The Tales of A French Eye
by iRishou
Summary: "Are you this weird that fate refuses to get you out of my life?" / Gilbo/Eli / Chapter 5 : Weird!
1. Preview and Prologue

**. . . . The Tales of A French Eye**

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_**A former French king was beaten**_

_**With his rule over many different states, he conquered war after war; with each win awarding enormous glory and power to himself and the Empire of France . Considering that he was only a 5'2**_

_**Though he won many strategic wars of mind and strength, He never won the battle for his heart. The war of La Amour~**_

Bonaparte was a French fool like any other, someone unknown to Love, yet he managed to snag a wife or two due to his upbringing. He was a skilled poet, a trait he used to obtain his wives' attention—

"Damn it Francis! You perverted French bastard! What the hell are you doing putting us inside this thing!"An obviously flushed man of pale skin and gray hair exclaimed, throwing in my usual nicknames, as if to mock me of my kinky nature. In all honesty, I'm greatly complimented, Gilbert.

Resting on his chest is a voluptuous Hungarian, Her cheeks flushed as well. For what reason? I would say anger more than humiliation

"...."The Prussian was left speechless in great disbelief, He should have known better.

Well whatever , I know you're savoring each and every moment in that invisible box called Amour, You are harassing Elizaveta's ass after all...

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_**Rishou : This is just the Introduction , A preview to be more precise of what France's writing skills are :)).I will update when the time comes....Oh GOD please give me some sort of inspiration! I'm also quite scared , fearing that there might be some grammatical errors since naggy proofread isn't here to....nag me...**_

_**Reviews are read and appreciated  
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	2. The Kinky Bastard

**. The Tales of a French Eye**

**Their dying love for each other started at the beginning of their childhood (as I presume) whenever I would hear their endless noise of war with one another or other invading entities. Their dense minds denied them of the fact that they would not allow the other half be beaten by another unless it were themselves.**

**Thus, their rivalry sparked the platonic love that would further increase to their current status : A seemingly turned on couple stuck inside a narrow 20 foot aquarium due to a certain kinky man 'accidentally' pushing them while the albino and brunette viewed the various species of fish from the top floor.**

_Gilbert needed a sudden push for goodness sakes! I only gave him the appropriate factors for a good—_

"Stop telling the police lies! The hell with you Francis!"While the angry Prussian released his anger verbally, I could feel the chill of a dark and mysterious aura from Elizaveta, now out of Gilbert's arms and clinging unto the side of the aquarium while being assisted by the staff. Apparently, her foot is stuck to where most shark gathered, causing the staff to approach with vicious care. Trust me , dear staff ; you would want to proceed with care for another reason.

I could already hear the three big letters of "D.I.E" and the undying phrase of "You better run, Francis" through my ears, though I'll quickly win her over with a few porn magazines displaying intimate scenes between two men , with either the same or not same sexuality. Either way, she would love it and it would give me enough time to run and hide.

Everybody would be happy—well, except for Gilbert and if that doesn't work...

Hey, is that Antonio?

**. The Tales of a French Eye**

"Francis?" The seemingly well proportioned silhouette greeted with the question most of my acquaintances would say, a confirmation of my appearance to my true identity. My sense of fashion helps me stand out—too much for my own intentions of blending in. Within a small part of a second, I found myself fortunately dragged out of the aquarium and inside the safe premises of the park. Ah, Antonio, you also have berserk Hungarian sensors.

"But of course! Gilbert practically installed it in our system while Elizaveta beat him every single day, but I'm not Antonio you dumb ass" Our steps stopped in front of the heavily cemented entrance and as I looked down upon the human being that dragged me outside the danger zone that is Elizaveta Herdervary , a quick realization was needed :

Bella?!

"How could you mistake this beauty for someone else? Antonio—of all people—a **man! **Francis, a **man**" She indicated her well shaped breast of size D with the use of her hands, a feat of her physical appearance she takes pride in. Nice try , but big brother Francis isn't kinky today "Francis, you're always kinky—you're French!"

She reminded me of the fact that I could not keep out off my mind for the past 3 hours, only to find myself forgetting about it after 5 minutes of contact with an outside force that would later save me from a Prusso-Hungarian murder, how painfully ironic.

"Francis, look out" Bella warned, slowly backing off to safety while horrifyingly pointing at a flying projectile, which I figured was a frying pan. At the same time my thoughts were conjuring the latter statements I felt a great pang of pain at the back of my head, accompanied by a sound of metal clashing unto the ground. Shit!

_The frying pan had hit me—hard._

As my face touched the uncomfortable cement of the aquarium's entrance (along with my whole body ) I hear the words of the two women that are present before my semi-unconscious body.

"Thank you Bella"

"No problem Liz! But where are you taking him?"

"Where else...."

Silence

"....to Arthur's restaurant, of course!"

**Death.**

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**Rishou : This was seriously too much fun to write but was irritatingly unsatisfying to proofread myself! I haven't felt like this in a good while =3=. Oh , and if you haven't figured it out yet , Belgium=Belgica , always loved that name for her , that and Bela , though I usually use the latter for Belarus. Again I'm afraid since naggy proofreader isn't here to...nag me.I need to trust myself more!**

**EDIT : Due to request from a certain person , I replaced Belgica with Bella! :3  
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**I hope it didn't feel too much random , I wanted to connect them just a little  
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**Reviews are welcomed and appreciated**


	3. Belgian Eye

**..Tales of A French Eye**

Death truly came to Francis Bonnefoy's door in the form of Elizaveta Herdervary .Betrayal? Just to her right polishing her nails while the eyebrow thickened English man shoved both unnecessary and inedible cuisine down my throat. He's taking quite the joy there...

"You're really clever Liz. You waited for 2 hours just for him to wake up and feel Arthur's torture methods!"The Belgian praised, glancing to her devil friend. "What? Oh, yes..."Elizaveta uttered, quite apparent that she was on to something.

"Wait..."Bella paused, somehow in a state of shock as to what her friend was doing. What was Elizaveta doing?

"Liz, No matter how high Arthur is above him, please refrain from taking pictures of their twisted lover's moment. It's scaring the customers away" She motioned her hands to absolutely nothing, obviously mocking Arthur's restaurant. "Fine, I had enough pictures for one fourth of my project anyways" What project?

Arthur, obviously deaf at the moment, continued to shove the numerous ingredients down my throat. My mouth isn't a frying pan you English moron! Black Pudding will never cook in there!

"A miracle..." the blond exclaimed as the sound of tingling bells was heard throughout the spacious room. "I'll get it" The devil woman offered only to stop her once heavy footsteps before slamming the wooden door close to the unknown customer. "Who was it Liz?" the traitor asked her friend with surprise not well hidden in her voice.

"A brainless pervert"

"Please don't lock Gilbert out"

**Death.**

**..Tales of A Belgian Eye**

Oh, Arthur you can stop now. Francis is unconscious and it's more painful while he's awake. So finish your job, torture, later. "Okay, I'll bake you some—" That's not necessary, Arthur! I'll just have a glass of water. "O—okay..."

_I'm sorry, Arthur but your cooking's too bad for the health of a young girl!_

With that, the English man proceeded to his kitchen performing cuisine for what God knows. I'd rather leave him be , I'm already happy that it's not for me or the entire human race in my mentality.

Sending Arthur off and assuring my continuous existence of taste in this world, I turned to the sweeter part of the day : Gilbert, resting on Liz's shoulder (at the same times hiding his sleeping eyes) and the latter tending to his semi-gashed wounds.

Let's rewind shall we?

"_Please don't lock Gilbert out!" I hurriedly commanded as I saw his very battered physical condition from the glass window placed beside our table. He's bleeding Elizaveta_—_! Somewhere between 'bleeding' and 'Elizaveta', Gilbert was already safe in her arms. I felt relieved as my breath was finally released out of my mouth._

"_Gilbert! Hey you brainless shit! Don't you dare close your eyes and fall into a coma!" Worry? Liz is usually calm in situations like these, even with other people close to her (unlike the Prussian). Gilbert, immensely injured, opted to keep silent and let Liz do the rest, yet I can't help but think the Prussian's enjoying himself._

_Oh and Liz, I don't think he will fall into a comma...He doesn't seem to have any concussions in the head...._

"_No! How do you know that!? " Silence soon overcame the room after Liz said the harsh words that entitled her to tears. I knew best not to break the said silence, as Elizaveta Herdervary's weakness came to be Gilbert Beilschmeldt. _

And that ends it.

In short: Gilbert got himself severely mugged, though we don't know who. We'll probably find out when Liz finishes wrapping his wounds. It was already dark and we had unanimously decided to stay at Arthur's place no matter how much we would be greeted by inedible things at morning and unidentified occult objects at night.

In all honesty, I'm not afraid of the things mentioned above. I'm more worried about keeping the virginity of my sight. I'm surrounded by a cook who's possibly gay , a very kinky bisexual tied up in a stressful pose , a psychotic Elizaveta who would later come up with a possibility of the first two mentioned into sex and lastly, The exact antonym of brain resting on Elizaveta's shoulder , Clearly taking advantage of the current moment.

In a situation like this, who wouldn't love their virginity of sight?!

Elizaveta (oblivious to his real intentions) closed her eyes next to Gilbert's injured body, with the intention to watch over him. A jacket was gently draped over the two (provided by the horrible cook of the restaurant) on which I placed upon them so that no cold would harm their system in the morning. It would be kind of cute, but I have more morals than a fucked up French bastard.

Antonio would be the one and only medicine for the pain currently seeping inside my head as his very easy going nature while chatting with him comforted the insides of both my body and soul. I would rest for now and continue this observation of experimental love in the morning.

"Eli, you have a fever"

"It's nothing Gilbert. Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep, your wounds will open" I played with her hair playfully, unconsciously trying to break her rules as a way to seek her attention. Masochistic, yes, but it works perfectly

Since Elizaveta Herdervary is mine for tonight.

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**Now to people who I can't contact or are anonymous!**

**StrudelMistress : Yes, I know that Napoleon is about 5'7. I needed the joke to lighten up the mood. Thank you for delivering that information!**

**Venus Syrinx : I accomplished a part of my duty! Thank you for reviewing!**

**When will my recurring fear of grammatical mistakes end? Reviews are well appreciated**


	4. Except, She Didn't

"_**Years of red roses have finally come to stop in blooming"**_** — Anonymous**

I'm perched up a tree, I'm holding binoculars and I'm going to hear a conversation that's makes the world unnecessary to listen to. "I'm impressed Francis. I never knew you had the brains to make this happen. Bugging the room and these instruments, I mean" Her very sarcastic whisper tickled my ears (despite the headphones on my right ear) when I placed myself between both Francis and Bella, fearing that the latter's virginity of touch may be taken by _him_.

"I feel like you mean that in another way—" Within a second...

"Shh! It's starting!"

**... Nice Guy Touch**

When Elizaveta entered the room, her widened orbs revealed her hidden surprise as she found our white-haired friend sitting across the room in his rarer and more silent state. Her dress appeared as a long tube gown stopping itself inches above the carpeted floor of the room. The long brown hair, that I know Gilbert loved loose, was tied up in a twisted pony tail-like bun in a very elegant fashion.

"Your hair looks weird" He bluntly stated, unable to produce the usual witty yet stupid comments since the lack of strength he currently possessed caused him to do so. "Hey it's my wedding! I can do whatever I want, dumbass" Her heartbreaking obliviousness amazed all of us, I'm about to cry...

She approached the now standing Gilbert and willingly fixed his messy tie to ready him for the ceremony, Unknown to her is what he's about to do.

**This should be the time that they...**

"You know I hate that guy, right?"

"Obviously."

"When that 'Speak now of forever hold your peace' moment comes, I will get my ass up and butt in"

"If you do I'll—"

"Who am I kidding? I'll probably leave once you enter the aisle. I wish I could have you, but I can't and it takes a lot of awesome to bear with the pain, but Francis, for once, made sense and told me something."

At first, Elizaveta would've thought of the unsaid phrase with the subjects of rape or voyeurism, but Gilbert's tender and sad tone as he spoke the lesson given to him by Francis gave her all the reason to love the wild Prussian.

... Except, she didn't

" 'Most of my people say that holding on is what keeps you strong. But in your case, it's really letting go'. I'll probably regret listening to Francis for this but he's right, I should let you go."

"Thanks, Gilbert," she forced a smile on her features, leaving me in confusion on whether his decision left her in disappointment or in great pride. Gilbert couldn't tell, he was too caught up in the moment of semi-confessing his obvious love for her.

"But don't expect me to show up" Elizaveta's smile completely transformed into a frown as Gilbert left the room with an unconfirmed expression hidden by the shadows.

**DON'T KISS?**

"Well Antonio, I guess it's time to get him," Francis declared a few minutes after Gilbert left the room, just making sure that he won't commit suicide.

Are you coming Bella?

"No, I'll stay here" Bella said with a focused tone similar to that of a scientist's interest in an experiment unlikely to have an outcome. Francis and I decided to let the Belgian be and continued to go down the ladder and step on the solid ground to which a likely crying Gilbert presides in a dark corner.

"You're a lying coward, Gilbert Beilschmidt!" A cry suddenly blared itself on to my ears as we started the search for the Prussian, giving me at what likely is called a chill up my spine.

No matter how far my headphones were hanging from my neck, the very powerful cry made both my ears go deaf as well as the two faces that dragged me into this. Francis' Cheshire cat smile as he faced me not only confirmed who spoke the evil deed but also confirmed at what we were about to do.

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**I chose to skip to a few years since last chapter and let the setting be on Eli's wedding day.**

**A million apologies for: The long update, abandonment of the restaurant's plot, not being able to reply to reviews, confusion and more confusion.**


	5. Weird!

"If only he had the guts to take me away "Her voice was rasp and low, maybe a bit more desperate than what I'd expect. A thud came to my headphones, an indication of her back leaning against the wall.

"He's so stupid for listening to Francis in the first place!" An evil smirk must be coming to her face, as I can fun of the French bastard would leave a smile on anyone's face, Especially Arthur.

Thus, my theory was right as her rant was followed by a couple of sad and regretful chuckles. "That's Gilbert for you. I swear, his brain's smaller than a pea"

Wow, you sure fell in love with the right girl—Gilbert!

There he was, smoking weed as he did before when Old Fritz died. Only this situation came off as even worse when Francis and I noticed a couple more cigarettes lying on the ground. Gilbert's further location across the church made us worry even more as he obviously chose to keep it secret.

"We know you smoke Gil, Don't flaunt it in open space"

"Leave me alone, Elizaveta doesn't need trouble on her wedding day. Consider peace and quiet as my wedding gift for her and Roddy"

He doesn't know what he's talking about at all!

"Really?"Francis' smile widened as he found the Prussian looking up to both of us. I joined in with the joyous emotion as I threw to him the headphones that have been deafening me for mere minutes.

"_I loved Gilbert Beilschmidt"_

"W-who?..."Gilbert's tone indicated the what was to be expected : surprise. A big grin stuck to his face as Elizaveta continued on. Eventually his disbelief turned into a chuckle.

"If this is a joke, I won't be laughing in the end"

"_He's such an ass for not grabbing me while he still can!_"

Silence filled the corner we stood upon, and then the bride continued

"_I knew I loved him, knew that he loved me too and knew that there would always be a chance. But I was so stupid for not taking it!"_

Once he was out of our sight, I knew Gilbert Beilschmidt was running –heading back to the church where his other half was desperately (without hope) waiting for the time where the rites would be spoken and vowed upon.

If only Elizaveta Herdervary knew, she'd be spending her supposed wedding day beside a wish she never knew would ever come true.

The door blew wide open as Elizaveta turned to see who ruined the perfectly styled door; her tears (perfectly intact across her face) reproduced and entirely covered her face with a river of tears.

"Gilbert!"She shouted, her mind quickly told her to wipe the tears off her face but her body remained motionless, Elizaveta's hands could no longer move to hit him with neither a frying pan nor her feet to stand. It was utter shock that sent her vulnerable faced with Gilbert who caused her to not only feel embarrassment but also fear.

The recipient of the said action could only smile but only held it for a second before turning it into a frown, Thus causing the situation to be more humiliating and alarming than before.

It wasn't Gilbert.

Because Gilbert was lying flat on the ground in the middle of the street just infront the church, his blood spreading rapidly on the cemented floor.

A normal human being at sight would hear a desperate Antonio and Francis ushering the semi unconscious body to the ambulance

But Gilbert wanted to hear one thing to decide if his life was truly worth living. It was simply an answer to the question:

"Elizaveta Herdervary, Do you love me?"

_It was supposed to be a military wedding, you know_

_Roderich was supposed to be in his classy military uniform_

_Your brother wore his perfectly_

_But yours_

_Yours was covered in blood_

_Tell me, Gilbert. Are you that stupid?_

_Never mind, that was an understatement_

_**Are you really this much trouble?**_

His rough yet silent breath ironically comforted Elizaveta in a strange way. She had wanted to break free from this burden but was obliged by her body to stay. It was, after all, what she wanted : A chance to stay with Gilbert.

Officially, the wedding was called off solely because of the troublesome Prussian ( His amazing ability to attract Tempting Fate for the people surrounding him reached high levels ) and would later be rescheduled in a yet-to-be planned date.

Still , the long wedding dress remained on Elizaveta's body. She had not bothered to change in any formal clothes as she planned to confront something when the Prussian would wake up.

Yes, she was this cruel. But the Hungarian knew that it would be the best way to point out _a feeling_

A quick gasp suddenly came out of the Prussian's lips and thus startling the semi-awake Hungarian resting her head on the side of the bed.

"Elizaveta? "

"Do you know what you've done Gilbert Beilschmidt?" She asked to start the moment of confrontation

"I suppose your answer's 'no'. That's typical of you Gil, I can tell. First I'd appreciate it if you would notice how I'm still wearing my wedding dress. You guessed right Gil! You just made me miss my very own wedding day. My OWN WEDDING DAY GIL, How troublesome can you get? Your incompetent, reckless, wild, hard to deal with, uncontrollable" She paused to see the guilt in Gilbert's face and grinned with satisfaction and continued her sentence with a softer tone "Loyal, strong, bold...Are you this weird that fate refuses to get you out of my life?"


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